Soberish October is a journey for those who want to try 31 days of being alcohol-free OR reducing their current consumption.
It is a 100% judgment free practice.
This journey is for those who recognize negative effects of alcohol on their life, who may not be ready or wanting to completely cut it out of their life, and who want to experiment with change.
Please note: This practice is NOT for those who have been diagnosed as, or fear they might be, an alcoholic. That is a serious condition that requires professional help, of which I would encourage you to seek out. Beyond Alcoholics Anonymous, there are a variety of support groups - such as Secular Organizations for Sobriety - and trained therapists who can help. You can either Google local providers, or start with the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services national hotline (in North America) at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).
I am not a licensed therapist nor trained addiction counselor. I am someone who has studied multiple disciplines of well-being, mindfulness, meditation, and awareness-based living. I will be journeying alongside of you, using these tools I’ve collected for decades, and applying them towards our journey of a soberish lifestyle. Being that I am a guide and not an expert, we will also be relying on the broad wisdom of those practicing alongside of us, as well as the wealth of research from those who have walked this path before us.
Why (and What Is) Soberish October?
“Soberish” is a practice taken from my “Walk365ish” journey. It is a way of committing to a path without carrying the guilt-weight of needing to make it perfect.
Walk365ish has turned out to be a full-time, walk every day (now up to 1,715 days) practice for me. I didn’t intend for it to be this disciplined, but I think it is that very attitude that helped me to achieve what it has become. The constriction of needing something to be perfect often prevents progress.
Soberish is the same type of idea. We’ll set out to stay sober each day. But if it does not happen, it is important to recognize that you are STILL ON THE PATH.
A drink or night of drinking wasn’t a “failure” because perfection isn’t our only definition of “success”.
And if you choose ahead a day a week to drink or are open to drinking at a Halloween party, so be it!
This is about the freedom to choose to drink or not to drink, the awareness to be mindful when making your choices, the strength to make the choices the “best you” wants to be making, and finding success in your own soberish terms.
Why I’m doing this:
There’s been a trend over the past few years towards alcohol-less lifestyles (i.e. less alcohol or abstinence).
When Covid hit, there was a resurgence in the popularity of alcohol as many turned to it for a coping mechanism. (For example, one study found that alcohol sales rose 55% in March 2020 after stay-at-home orders were issued (as compared to 2019).) Many of those who had found themselves taking part in the alcohol-less lifestyles returned to drinking, and many of those who were already drinking often added more glasses to their weekly count.
As evidenced by the increase in those seeking treatment and anecdotal stories from hundreds who lament the side effects, drinkers of all amounts started noticing that the alcohol was, at the very least, not making anything better and far more often, making things much worse.
And personally? Reducing my alcohol intake is something I’ve struggled with for years. It’s a struggle I’ve not made public until now, but one that deserves to be brought to light. (I’ll be sharing and expanding upon my own journey through the Facebook group.)
So why is it so hard to moderate what we are drinking?
There is, of course, the physical / chemical addiction that alcohol creates. Alcohol stimulates the release of endorphins and feel-good chemicals, such as dopamine. When you aren’t drinking, your mind-body craves that perceived release of tension and infusion of good feelings. Over time, your brain can physically change with alcohol use. You typically need more and more alcohol to create the same feel-good release as you originally got from one or two drinks, which is why you tend to drink more as time passes.
Psychologically, you train yourself to associate alcohol with feeling good. As life becomes stressful, alcohol is what you turn to in order to “shut it off”.
And then there is the pervasiveness of alcohol in our culture - the acceptance of and constant reminders of drinking.
It is what you DO in the evenings and on weekends. You get together for drinks with friends (currently socially-distanced), have a cocktail with dinner, visit a new local brewery or tour the grounds at the beautiful winery (and then have a few drinks), and joke about parenting and sneaking in alcohol to events (or at nights after the kids are in bed). (Absolutely no judgment - I’ve done every one of these!)
When you step back and look at it, it seems as though 90% of social and leisure events revolve around alcohol.
On top of all of this, there are STRONG bubbles of judgment around drinking behaviors.
Free-drinkers (those who place no limits on their drinking) judge non-drinkers and sober people judge those who choose alcohol. It makes it extremely difficult to even explore a different path than the one you’ve been on.
Along with this, there is often self-judgment - shame, guilt, and a desire to keep one’s drinking behaviors and/or desire to change to themselves. (Sobriety is often celebrated, but can leave the person feeling even worse if the 100% sobriety is ever deviated from.)
When someone starts to take all of this into account and desires change, there are still more obstacles to finding help.
I feel that drinking has long been seen as an all-or-nothing experience. Either you drink freely or abstain completely. Programs like AA, while successful for some and absolutely necessary for others who suffer from addiction, are 100% all or nothing.
This leaves a huge majority of drinkers who are interested in moderation - but not in abstaining - left without resources on how to start cutting back.
Thankfully, in recent years, alcohol-less (i.e. less alcohol but not abstinence) lifestyles have become more popular. Groups such as Moderation Management have a wealth of resources for those looking to cut back, but not cut out alcohol from their life.
For those interested in the Being Breath lifestyle, Soberish October is one more version of this path to take towards alcohol reduction.
How Do I Join?
For now, Soberish October is a small movement.
We are gathering through a Facebook Group, which can be found here.
It is completely free of charge and open to anyone wanting to explore reducing or cutting back alcohol intake.
(You will need to answer a couple of questions in order to join. This is just to keep the group free from spammers.)
This group will explore a wide variety of practices, resources, and support tips and techniques. In many ways, the group will not just be about alcohol! “As you do one thing, so you do all things.” We’ll explore feeling more free and clear to make the choices you want to be making in order to live the life you want to be living.
Posts will likely include:
-meditations to envision the life you want to be creating
-practices to do when the cravings hit
-an exploration of the psychology of cravings (attachment and aversion)
-personal stories from my own journey to encourage and hopefully inspire
-posts by like-minded people who will share their own practices and encouragement
and more.
Ready to join us?
Come on over to the Facebook Group!
Questions?
Email me - I’m happy to chat!
In honor of your path,
Lisa Renee Wilson